1. Trust yourself - there will come a time (or many times) when you will not know if you can even trust yourself, because let’s be honest, you are going to make mistakes and those mistakes will leave you questioning your own intelligence at time, but you will learn. Don’t let these mistakes be the reason you don’t trust yourself. Deep down you have an amazing intuition and sixth sense, if you want to call it that, that will guide you - all you need to do is listen to it - make time to feel what your body and mind are trying to tell you about situations, people, decisions, etc. When in doubt, sleep on it. It works almost every single time.
2. Love yourself as you are, but if there is room for improvement in any aspect, improve - IF YOU want to, if you feel this is the RIGHT thing for YOU. There will always be someone smarter, prettier, slimmer, more successful, etc., than you. That is not your business. You are your business. Social media lies. It is not real life. And, trust me if you knew other people’s problems, you would want yours back. Keep the focus on you, not on others. How you see yourself is what matters. Accept yourself as you are- but improve when needed. Self-love is beyond just acceptance - it is also about being better than you were yesterday. There is nothing wrong with improvement. With that being said - be mindful why you are making that improvement and ensure it is to align with your values and beliefs. Don’t let anyone who may come into your life tell you that you need to do anything to be prettier, slimmer, smarter, etc., - that decision needs to come from you and you only. Do not allow external forces influence decisions you make about your body and mind.
3. Get to know yourself on regular basis. Make time to check in with yourself, look at your daily habits and routines - and get rid of those that do not serve you well. Before you give your time to anything - ask yourself if this is aligned with your goals, values, and energy - if not, don’t do it. Focus on things that matter to you. Understand what you want and why you want that. Explore any childhood traumas, and issues that have happened that you might have internalized and carried with you - dumping it whenever you get the chance - check your emotions and understand the root cause of those emotions - more likely than not - those emotions have nothing to do with what you are experiencing at that moment, but with something that has happened in the past and now you are reflecting it onto current situations. If that is the case, get to the bottom of those emotions - they can be your biggest blocker or biggest accelerator to growth.
4. Write down what you want to achieve, what do you want to be remembered for and get to work. Make time to prioritize your goals - write down your vision for the future, get yourself a vision board and look at it every single day. This will be your reminder and guide to stay on track. Goals don’t work unless you put in the work - and most likely it will be more work than you can even anticipate - so make sure your goals are truly what you aspire to (#3 will help to ensure this is true). Work hard. There will be people who will get things easier than you. People who will get ‘lucky’, and those who will have the support or talent that you might not have. That is not your business. Because you will focus on what you can do. And, what you will learn is that hard work and perseverance will always outwork a talent that does not work. Hard work pays off. Hustle pays off. You are not going to know everything - and the older you get the more you will realize you don’t know anything still but you will keep trying and that is the beauty of it all - to realize that there is so much for you to still learn and that will be exciting - you are going to have to learn, so go learn and work hard.
5. Stop worrying about other people’s opinions. Easier said than done, I know but I promise you once you realize that nobody really cares about you (I mean this in the best way possible) - you might actually live a bit more freely. Of course, our families and loved ones care, and you should to an extend care about what they think - but even our families sometimes don’t have all the answers and their intentions are good for you but it is not always the right decision for you. You need to make choices that you feel are the right ones. Surely, listen and hear people out, but ultimately you need to make an educated choice that is right for you. It is your life and your time is limited - do not spend it living someone else’s life. When you want to do something - if you are worried about what people will think - unload that thought - get to the bottom of it - and move past it. That is not good enough reason to not do something. Life is too short yet too long - to live how other people want you to live. Make your own choices. Be okay with trying something new, embarrassing yourself if needed, and moving past it to do better. The faster you learn how to get back up, the sooner you will grow into the person you are meant to become. As for the rest of the people in your life - on social - in university - at work - I promise you they don’t spend much time thinking about you and probably have their own things to worry about - even if something happens and you will be embarrassed - the chances are people will forget and move on. Everyone moves on. Don’t be stuck living up to someone else’s standards when they are not even thinking about you. Common sense, I know, just want to remind you. Just do YOU.
6. Sort out childhood traumas/ insecurities/experiences that you internalized as your truth. Parents & our families are just human. They are not perfect. Nobody teaches them how to raise kids; everyone just sort of did their best. There might have been moments in your childhood that happened which were not handled properly or an event at school that left you embarrassed as a Child (for example: a public speaking event where everyone laughed at you, or a sport where you completely failed); that was a one-time thing - and the intensity of it might have made you feel that you are not enough or you are not smart enough or worth the great things in life. That is not your fault BUT it is your responsibility to recognize that what happened or not happened in your life does not have to be your reality for the rest of eternity - process it and move on. Live up to the life that you deserve and that you are worthy of. That is the choice you need to make.
7. Care for your two most important assets – mind and body. Make time for quality sleep, healthy eating habits, and fitness. It is all fun and games when you are young but you will feel those late nights and poor health choices when you are older. You have one body, take care of it. Imagine your body is like a house and every time you eat and drink - ask yourself if this is what you want to use to build your house. Good / healthy options will build strong and healthy body and mind (aka house); processed fried and fast food will build a house that will fall apart eventually - choose wisely. Move daily - life is about movement. Make time - choices. Sleep is cool - sleep early, skip a party if needed, focus on you (see #5 again if you got MOFO). Learn about nutrition and understand your body - it is literally the only thing that will make you or break you - and no money in the world can substitute good health, energy and a sharp mind. You will be amazed at how much nutrition plays a role in how you think, how much energy you have, and how well your mind/body function. Build a strong house and keep it strong.
8. Learn to put yourself in other people’s shoes - as early as possible. I know this seems like a common-sense thing to do but mindfulness about others and empathy does not come naturally to all. Making conscious effort to feel with other people - really imagining what it is like to be in their shoes and practicing active listening will save you lots of embarrassment and selfish behavior in the future - even though it was not your intent. That is the thing about empathy - if you don’t make conscious effort for it - it will slip by without even noticing, potentially destroying valuable relationships. Think of yourself a bit less not in a sense of not caring, but think of how you can add value to others, this will go a long way; and do it from a genuine place. It doesn’t work otherwise.
9. Talk to as many people as possible. Two amazing things happen when you do - 1. You get to know yourself. You begin to understand how you act, react, communicate, and behave in different situations and around different people. It will tell you a lot about areas you need to improve and help you become essentially you. 2. You learn a whole lot about people - and eventually realize that we are more similar than we are not. You will also learn that psychology and the basic ability to read people and understand how to manage relationships is the most important skill you can learn for work and business. You will also learn from others and realize that we are all just learning and nobody really know what they are doing either. You will also realize that titles and paychecks mean nothing when the person’s character sucks (for lack of a better word). You will learn not to be intimated by big titles, fancy suits, and good public speaking skills. Talk to people that are different from you - those you normally would not think to talk to - if you only speak to people that are in your communities you are likely missing out on a great deal of opportunities to gain new perspectives, learn about others and their cultures, etc. All of this will make you a better human.
10. Be okay with making mistakes. You are going to make plenty of them - from decision, to relationship choices (yikes), to job choices, to habits, etc. You will learn the hard way because you learn best by doing and experimenting. Be okay with knowing that mistakes are part of learning and growth - with that being said - #9 will help with this - learn from mistakes of others; less painful for you. And, don’t make the same mistake twice (although you still might and that is okay) - process each mistake, reflect on the learnings and try to avoid doing it again. In all cases, be kind with yourself. If you are making mistakes that means are you trying and living. And, the funny thing about mistakes, the more you make the more you realize you are not afraid of making them when necessary. Nobody knows everything - trying and failing is better than not trying at all and being afraid to even risk or try anything new. And, romantic relationship is likely where you will also make mistakes so learn to enjoy them (really!) while they last and say thank you when they are done. After all, you will make the choices to be with those individuals so you cannot blame them for your choices - use it to learn more about yourself, grow stronger and always, always give love another chance once you are ready. Always. We are meant to love and be loved, you will learn that with some time.
c'est la vie
Book me for a chat & let's talk about what you connected with the most and what are some challenges you are facing right now – Calendly
Elena
