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Things I would tell my younger self - 2023 version!

Back in 2020 I wrote a personal piece – 10 things I would tell my younger self and anyone on the way to a becoming a better person – you can read it here. Today, on July 6 which is my birthday – I wanted to write an updated version of that original article, based on some things I’ve learned in the last 3 years. All of the 10 things listed in the original piece are still true and absolutely valid.

Here are a few more…in no particular order…

Love what you do, but don’t let it kill you.

Over the last 3 years, I have spent so much time just working working working – because I love it. I love what I do. I am that annoying person who actually loves what she does every day, but not all day, but every day I am excited to get to work and create and share and learn.

I always say it is a hobby that turned into a career and a business. The danger with that is that you are still only human & your body will force you to stop at some point if you don’t give it a break. 2020-2023 was a blur – it feels like all I did was work or do something productive around my work or my podcast or my trainings, etc. Very little relaxation time took place. I would work 7 days a week easily on something each day. In late 2020 / early 2021 that resulted in gain weight, in health challenges, low energy, low mood, and much more.

I spent a part of my 2021 onwards getting back to my self – to my energetic, active, healthy self. It is funny how easy it is to get into a hole and how hard it is to climb out.

So, in early 2023, I have set a theme for myself for that year – MAXIMIZE – maximize on learning, growth, business, work, AND also on rest and travel and time with family and friends. And, guess what – the world did not end when I took a vacation or spent a day just binge watching Netflix because I just felt like it. I learned not to be afraid to rest. And, that in return actually made me more productive and energetic on the days that I did work.

I also now rest on weekends, workout daily, and even got my personal training certification because of how much my health journey impacted me and now I want to help others do the same – get back to their top performing self (without feeling like they are not doing enough).

Continue to love what you do – but make sure you are around long enough to enjoy the fruits of your labor in the long term.

Some things will come to an end, it does not mean you failed, or something is wrong with you.

In late 2020 & 2022 – relationships in my life began to unravel.

1.In 2020 - my personal relationship – I was engaged, until I was not. An acquittance told me one day that we should say “congratulations” when relationships/marriages end. And honestly having been divorced (in 2017) and then then engaged and again single (2020), I can tell you that “Thank God” I didn’t stay in those relationships. Dodged bullets! Both sides did, in fact. It takes two to tango. This is not to say that those men I was with were somehow bad. Not at all! I mean I chose them to begin with and said “yes” to marriage TWICE! So, it was not all bad, but just ultimately, we were not the right fit on both occasions.

A big part of that is that I tried to do that thing that I told my 10 younger self I would not do (I know better, but it takes a try or two to do better) – I was still trying to fulfill some expectations of what a good man or a successful marriage should look like – to an outside audience – starting with my immediate family.

I used to think that if things didn’t work out, that I somehow failed and didn’t deserve to have a man that I can just be myself with and be happy. I can tell you that was wrong and in fact, it led me to discover more of myself and find a man that makes me feel exactly like that. So, no – end of a relationship does not mean failure or that something is wrong with you. It means you are learning and growing and not settling into a space that does not serve you.

It hurts when it ends, but that is just temporary. Feel it, learn from it, grow it, and be happy it happened.

2.In 2022 – my business & partnership. My ex-business partner and I build an awesome business – focused on performance and wellbeing in organizations. We lived through the pandemic, which was an accomplishment on its own, considering that we started just 6 months before the world shut down, and many businesses didn’t survive. Ultimately, our dream of growing the app did not materialize for various reasons and we decided to part ways. It took me a while to let it go & not ask myself on daily basis “where did I go wrong?” “What could’ve been done?” “Did we part too early?” and so on. Starting a business is hard – it is not the trendy thing and lifestyle that you see online, it is very very very hard – and maintaining and growing a business is even harder. Hence, when we closed shop, it took me a while to accept it and even longer to understand that it was not a failure – we were actually a revenue generating business, we had a team, we grew our brand year after year, won several awards and much more – there were many wins there. The biggest win for me was all that I learned about starting a business and building a brand from scratch – that is priceless. And that is the knowledge I am now using to build other ventures.

Learn to let go when it is time. You will know when it is time.

Always be open to love and new relationships – business or personal.

One thing I am proud of as an adult is giving love more chances, no matter how the last relationship turned out. I think we tend to focus so much on how those end that we forget that we chose to spend time with those people, sometimes marry them even, so it was not all bad. What I learned is to take responsibility for my choices and my decisions and taking lessons from that, so I can choose better next time. What I think was the biggest lesson is you have to become a person you want in your life. You have to continuously work on being better yourself – including learning how to be yourself and true to yourself, respecting yourself, investing in yourself, etc. and only then can you attract the person who will do the same for you. It all starts with you. That was the biggest lesson.

That is true for business and personal relationships.

One my favorite quotes I came across last year that I know live by:

Hard choices – easy life

Easy choices – hard life

c'est la vie

Comment below & share what you connected with the most or what else you would add here. Feel free to also book me in for a chat to connect and share experiences – Calendly
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